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Saturday Slam #6

The spotlight of the Saturday Slam shines upon the CRTC. However, I have been known to digress and digress I shall.

Decision time has arrived. Time to to decide which wireless providing leach is allowed to attach itself to our wallet.

With the plethora of phone styles available one would think deciding upon the phone would be the difficult task when undertaking a new wireless contract. Providers by comparison should be easy. Well the phone, like our last, are iPhones. We like them and they serve us reasonable well.

Morris' iPhone Home Screen
Morris’ iPhone Home Screen

Our previous provider was Rogers. The service deemed proper from Rogers was not what one would expect from a corporation desirous of retaining one’s patronage.

We had basically decided to switch. But farmersdotter, ever cool and rational, thought there may be an opportunity to negotiate a better deal from the devil we know. I had my doubts because we had already confirmed from the Rogers store in Penticton that we could indeed port our phone numbers over to a new provider once our sentence was pardoned.

Now you would think any sales representative worth their pay cheque, once confronted by a client desirous to switch providers, would seek out the nearest phone booth to don the ever powerful cape of retention and leap into sales hyper-drive. But no. Blank stare. *blink-blink*

What we didn’t realize at the time was the cape of retention resides deep within the steamy bowels of Roger’s retention department. That hideous department mortals must enter in order to pass through the intestinal clutches of their wireless service provider.

It worked. We got shat out the other end with a new arrangement and a Rogers customer “interaction number” to prove it. Basically, the Rogers retentive voice told us to return to the Rogers store in Penticton and all shall be well and truly magnificent.

But no. Upon return. Blank stare. *blink-blink*.

The attending shoveler of all things poopy informed us that in the past he had told Rogers a ‘million’ times that the Penticton Rogers store is not designated as a dealership. *blink-blink*. Translation: poopy boy is not privy to the crucial codes contained in the all important customer “interaction number” and can not help us.

And lo fell away the mighty cape of retention. We (farmersdotter) valiantly tried one final time with a call to the Rogers customer service centre but to no avail. The cape lay motionless. Retention-less.

Bye bye Rogers. Been nice to know ya but never again will you be rewarded from our wallet for such a grand display of ball dropping on the same play. Were are now with Telus. *heavy sigh* Talk to me in three years..

Perhaps the real culprit here, to get back on topic, is Saturday Slam recipient Canada’s Radio-Television Communications Commission who’s regulations allow for three year contracts. The CRTC launched an online discussion to get input on what a new code for wireless service should contain. First off it should be noted Canadian consumers pay more for wireless services as compared to other OECD countries  primarily because of three year contracts.

NDP consumer critic Glenn Thibeault noted in his own submission to the CRTC that three-year terms offered in Canada lock consumers into contracts that often go far beyond the typical lifespan of a heavily used wireless device.

The CRTC is expected to soon issue a draft code after which a second round of online consultations will be launched. Public hearings will begin in February.

2 thoughts on “Saturday Slam #6

  1. Thank you for…”shoveller of all things poopy…”. You rock my world.

  2. Glad you appreciated that. It was the kindest thing I could think of at the time. Cheers!

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