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You can’t call it a Verger.

Why do some vegan food recipes emulate carnivore recipes?

Where's the Beef? Photo curtesy Living Non GMO
Where’s the Beef? Photo courtesy Living Non GMO

The sandwich in the above photo contains no meat, no juices, no glistening gristle, so do not disguise it as a hamburger. Fraud. Call it what it is; a lamb sandwich, the ‘m’ is silent. And for Pete’s sake lose the traditional burger bun. That’s ours too. Use bread. Any bread. A special bread specific for your la’m’b sandwich but, you can not call it a Verger. That’s too close and too low effort. Vegans the world over have made a choice and consequently must own it! If you’re going down the vegan road leave off the analogies and stop co-opting names like burgers, hot dogs, et al because those names all belong to us. Those names belong to the domain of the carnivore. Your domain is over there somewhere. Afterall, we don’t cut top sirloin into a perfect rectangle, coat it with high gluten flour and call it tofu. #OwnIt

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Where Have all the Vegans Gone?

Where the hell are all the vegan pensioners? There are very few retirement age vegans. That is my observation. While there are several examples of young virile vegans there are very few specimens of mandatory retirement aged vegans. They’re like hipsters in that regards. Is there a relationship between vegans and hipsters? I think so. Vegan hipsterism. It should be noted that there are no hipster vegans. It doesn’t spread that way. Rest assured any self proclaimed hipster vegan was vegan first. Yup, vegan hipsters. Perhaps the most endangered pensioner of all. While I can’t prove this I am certain there are proportionally more pensioners who smoke than those who practice veganism.

Where have all the vegans gone? Long time passing. Where have all the vegans gone? Long time ago. Where have all the vegans gone? Hypocobalaminemia have picked them every one. When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?

On the up side old vegetarians seem stable.  While vegetarianism is on the decline it is generally agreed upon that vegetarian numbers will remain stable and somewhat healthy. Unlike old hippies. Old hippies will thankfully die off and with them all old hippy vegetarians.